Skip to main content

Just As Soon As I Thought I Had This Day Whipped, Geese.

As I sit in my office today, I can look at the front door and see the grandeur of Lookout Mountain.  I see a speckle of color spread lightly through the tree line right about the Waffle House.  Just beyond the Tennessee American Water tower there is a cloud that looks a little like Abe Lincoln.   At the end of the parking lot a gaggle of geese are strutting around what grass is left from the summer heat wave.  In the distance the sound of the Wal-Mart buggy pushers as the clang together buggies left around the parking lot.  At the Dollar Tree, a truck driver pulls up to unload today’s shipment of overstocks and misprinted Halloween candy.  They hang a sign that says “Stock Up For Halloween With Candee Kurn”.
The police have the driver of a camouflage RV stopped at the end of the drive, and are either doing a field sobriety test or an impromptu version of Father Abraham, “right foot, left foot, turn around..”  Behind me my boss, who by the way is one of my favorite people, but unfortunately was born without the ability to produce a single sound that sounds even relatively close to a tune, is singing “She’s a Good Hearted Women, In Love With a Good Timing Man” while she thumbs through her weekly copy of “Just Busted.”  The smell of copy toner and spiced apple candle fills the air as I take a deep breath to dive in to my current delinquency reports.
“Let’s see… who is due today” I think to myself.  As I begin to go down my list, I start calling customers and the sounds of bad taste begin to echo through my head, as every song I hate has been chosen as Ring Back Tones for the people I must call.  First “Do You Believe in Life After Love.”  This was the song recorded by the Cher robot apparently.  Her voice does some weird synthesized vocal move on every other word.  I leave my message and move on to the next number on the hit parade.  “Please enjoy the music while your party is reached:  I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow you until you love me! Papa-paparazzi!”  All of the sudden I find myself silent after the leave a message beep goes off.  For some strange reason I’m thinking how uncomfortable a meat dress would be.
After an hour or so I step away from my calls to make another pot of coffee.  As I am putting the filter in I receive a call.  “This is Tracy” I say..  the voice on the other end of the phone says “OOOOOH LAWD!!  Tracy I need jo hep!”  Ok… “I’d be glad to help.  What can I do for you?”  “Tracy, my doiter (daughter) just had her wallet stoled and she had took my food stamp card, and it got took too!”  “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear that!” I replied.  “I am having a domino tournament tonight, and I got to buy groceries!  The cash I got is what I got to play with!  I just need a couple hunded dollars for some grub.”  It felt great to come to her rescue.  Some of you have already judged, but our domino playing friend is one of my best customers.  She has no sense, but will pay her bills.  This just happens to be the same woman who was offended by me saying “Have a blessed day.” (See previous blog)
By this point I was rather pleased with the amount of work I have gotten done today.  I needed a moment to gather my thoughts so I stepped outside to get a bit of air and just clear my head.  I was looking at all the beauty of God’s creation and thinking about all of my blessings.  I looked up at the sky and said to myself, “It’s been a good morning so far.”  I took a deep breath and started walking back to the office when I was flagged down by the driver of the camouflage RV I mentioned earlier.  He wanted to know I had a tire jack.  After briefly patting down my pockets, I told him no.  I turned back toward the office and smiled to myself thinking, “You are such a sarcasticrat!” and thinking how awesome I was and how I had this day whipped.  Took one more look up at the heavens, just in time to see those geese flying away.
They pooped on me.  Right on me.  My left should and right knee.  Tell me, how does a bird poop on your knee when you’re standing up?  Poop… on me..
So as you sit at your desk today, in the factory, driving that delivery truck, shopping or whatever it is you are doing, remember, no matter how great and important you may be, and if you think you can do it on your own without the help of God, He enabled birds to poop while they fly.  Get His help, rely on him, and wear a poncho.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This One Moment....

I just got home from doing some work at our church.   Each Saturday night we have to do some things to get ready for the early worship service.   But tonight was especially chaotic, as most of the last few weekends this time of year have been.   With Sunday School Christmas parties and so many other things going on, we have basically just been dodging each other to make sure that everything is done and nobody gets hurt!   With the exception of Trevor tripping in the parking lot and falling sternum first onto a concrete parking stop, I think we have done alright.   (He seems to be ok, by the way.) Tonight, there was a Christmas party in the fellowship hall and children’s play practice in the auditorium.   I, because of my many talents, well mainly because I showed up, was asked to help with the production by running the sound and the lights for the play.   So I got a script, made my notes and marked my cues and tried to keep up.   You know h...
1 comment
Read more

Can We Talk About The Oscars?

DISCLAIMER: I know nothing about the winners, losers, or Oscar himself. Had Will Smith not slapped Chris Rock, I would have never known it is still a thing. Therefore, no commentary or opinions will be offered to the awards themselves. I barely have time to watch tv, so movies are a rare treat. Whenever I do, my commentary is always golden, and seldom appreciated. Much like my blogs.  Like everyone else on the internet, I have two things in my favor. First, I am fully aware of the "incident" and the details surrounding it. Second, I have the ability to share my thoughts regardless of my qualifications.  So, can we talk about The Oscars?   Specifically, let's talk about the crushing weight of life and the consequences of a life lived for your own glory. If that turn surprised you, know that I meant for it to do so. Clever, huh? I actually worked on that sentence really hard. There is no way to encapsulate all of the issues going on in a single sentence. Especially con...
Post a Comment
Read more

Understanding Our Mission: The Work of Faith & Labor of Love

  I am always humbled and grateful to be able to share the hope of the Gospel in foreign fields through short-term mission trips. Unfortunately, I am often saddened and frustrated by the way many respond to these opportunities. No Christian (regenerate, born-again believer and follower of Christ) can ignore or deny the Biblical mandate to reach our world with the Gospel. It begins from where we are, and to the ends of the earth. Any Christian (see above definition) also understands that not all believers are called in Christ to physically go to a foreign field, whether short-term or permanent. But all Christians (see above) are missional. All Christians (again...) know that global missions are born from local missions.  Fulfilling the mandate of Matthew 28:18-20 , the Great Commission, is the responsibility of every true believer. Jesus promised to be with us every step of the way and "to the end of the age."  We are "ambassadors for Christ" , and God is graciousl...
Post a Comment
Read more