Handfuls of Doxology

Someone once said "When I can't track God, I can still trust Him."   This is a statement that in the light of day I join the masses and lift my hands and give a hearty "AMEN" like all good Christians should do. But if I am honest, it's in the darkness of night when the answers won't come, there is no reason for the hopelessness and no sense to be made of the waiting and confusion that so often comes when we are surrounded by circumstances that life in general can bring.   The issue can be traced back to the selfish demand of fallen man’s human nature that wants to be in absolute control.   The idea is that if I was in control I could handle all that comes my way with such grace and a mogul like wisdom that everything would be smooth sailing and I would never have to face uncertainty or have unanswered questions.   After all, I am so smart and my track record is stellar right? To quote my son “Pffffffft!   Whatever!”   Recently,

This year I will be thirty-one years old. Thirty-one years is not a long time, especially now that I am turning thirty-one. I remember a time when it seemed a lot older than what it is today. But of the thirty-one years, my heart and mind are drawn mostly to the last three. The last three years have been the most challenging and rewarding years of my life. The past three years seem like ten, yet have flown by. I have seen more growth in my life in three years than the other twenty-eight combined. I have also experienced more defeat than in the other twenty-eight years combined, although the defeat was of a different nature. Let me explain. Three years ago, I was a completely different person. I was the type of person that motivational speeches warn you about becoming. I was the guy that everyone looked at and shook their head and said things like “What a wasted life.” I had gotten to a place where years of bad decisions and selfish motivations had culminated into an explo