Greetings Tracy.
It's Tracy.
2019 Tracy, to be exact.
You're probably wondering how this is possible. Last thing you remember it was January of 2015 and you were posting on this blog after nearly six months of forgetting you had it, full of hope and promise of what the new year had in store and all that was ahead of you. In some cases not much has changed. For instance, it's now been over four years and you just now remembered you had a blog. We really should keep a Post-It somewhere.
There are, however, many things that have changed since you last penned your thoughts on these digital pages. Back then you were still settling into a new city, a new ministry, and still trying to figure out your place in all of it. Your last post spoke of how you didn't know what was ahead, but you knew that God was in control. I can assure you, as you wrote it then, you had no clue the gravity and truth of both of those statements. In a million years you would have never imagined what would come in the days ahead of you, and you would have never, at that time, understood the depth and reach of the great faithfulness of God through it all.
You've learned a few things over the past few years. Specifically, you've learned some things about God and who He is. For the record, these are the lessons that matter. The lessons you are about to learn in the coming months and years are going to transform you. I am writing you the way I am today because we are not the same person anymore. As you wrote the last blog entry and envisioned the road ahead, I can still remember what you had in mind. Many of the things you prayed for, God will be gracious to give you. Many of those things you prayed for, God in His mercy will spare you from getting. Trust me, it's absolutely mercy. You were right, God was in control.
You are going to learn again, and again, you cannot for one minute trust yourself (Prov. 3:5-6). I shouldn't have to remind you of this, but even 2015 Tracy knows the issue we have. Still, you should know there is going to be many times that you will completely forget this and walk as a total pagan. I replay the situations in my head and can track the results every time. You're not as smart as you think you are. Say it with me: You don't know what you are doing. God has given you His Spirit and promises you wisdom from Himself - the God of all wisdom. This promise is at your disposal, yet time and time again you will dip into the well of your stagnant, flesh-stained wisdom for answers. Spoiler-alert: It never goes well. You are about to face some things, and you need help from God to know how to face them. There will be a time when you turn to Him and He is going to answer and show you what you need to do, I just wish you would do it sooner. Why spend a single moment running off of your ignorance when He holds all wisdom in Himself for you?
You are going to learn that it's not just rhetoric when we say "God doesn't waste suffering" (James 1:2-4). You already know this but I want to remind you of it. No matter what may come, you are blessed, and whatever you get is much better than you deserve. With that being said, there is some stuff coming your way. It's not disease, famine, or sword, but just as it is with all of those, it will not be sufficient to separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Nor will it be wasted in your life. It will come out of nowhere and it will have an impact on you in a ways that you could never imagine. Everything in your life will shift as a result and there will be times that you wonder if things will ever be the same. The answer to that question is, No. They will be better. Not better because the reality is better, but better because God is better than the suffering we face. He will use the events and circumstances you are going to face to produce a fruit that will draw you closer to Him, and do a work in you that will bring a greater glory to His name. Isn't that point? While the landscape of your life will be totally different in the next few years, I can assure you that you will understand His sovereign work in the confusion and pain as precious and glorious.
You are going to learn, better than you ever have, God is relentlessly faithful and good (Psalm 89:8). It wouldn't be very nice for someone else to say this, but I can because, well...I'm you. You can, at times, speak about things you know very little about. You know how you can go on and on about European Sports Cars because you watch Top Gear UK, but in reality, you couldn't add windshield washer fluid to one of those cars. Well, the subject of God's faithfulness and goodness is not a subject foreign to you by any means, but you will soon discover a depth of His nature you've never known. In the coming days you will find yourself coming to many crossroads in your faith and in your life. There will be days and weeks of waiting, prayer, more waiting, more praying, and just listening for God to guide. Slowly, steps of obedience will be taken into the unknown. You will walk, knowing that you are walking in His will, but unsure what lies ahead. Day by day, you will learn to lean into Him and do your best to trust. You won't always do it well, and at times, you won’t do it at all. But trust me, you will follow. As you do, there will be a lot of fear. The fear will be answered by the promises of God from His word. There will be needs. Every single one of them will be met in ways that you wouldn't believe if I told you. Miraculous ways. There will be moments when you just need answers, and they will come so clearly that even {you} couldn't miss them. Every step, God will confirm and reconfirm what He is doing. He will provide for you, and prove Himself time and time again.
You are about to be tested in ways you've never been tested before. I'm sure it will happen again, but when it does, you will have a new point of reference. You will know afresh, the almighty God of Heaven, who is sovereign in all things, working in all things for His good pleasure and glory, will finish the work He started for the good of them that love Him and are the called according to those very purposes. He is faithful, Tracy. He is good. I know that you already know these things, but I can assure you they will be so much more precious and real to you later. You are going to grow up a lot in the next few years. You still have a long way to go, and He is not finished yet. The truth is, He has only just begun to set some things in motion in the last few years. We are learning of Him daily, and it's all of grace.
I have to go, it's time for school. Oh, by the way - you went back to Seminary! Congratulations! May Christ be glorified in us, and may the Gospel go forth always. Let's try and do this again, real soon.
Because of Christ,
You know..
P.S. Stay away from Lisa's Kitchen in Gardendale, Alabama....trust me.
It's Tracy.
2019 Tracy, to be exact.
You're probably wondering how this is possible. Last thing you remember it was January of 2015 and you were posting on this blog after nearly six months of forgetting you had it, full of hope and promise of what the new year had in store and all that was ahead of you. In some cases not much has changed. For instance, it's now been over four years and you just now remembered you had a blog. We really should keep a Post-It somewhere.
There are, however, many things that have changed since you last penned your thoughts on these digital pages. Back then you were still settling into a new city, a new ministry, and still trying to figure out your place in all of it. Your last post spoke of how you didn't know what was ahead, but you knew that God was in control. I can assure you, as you wrote it then, you had no clue the gravity and truth of both of those statements. In a million years you would have never imagined what would come in the days ahead of you, and you would have never, at that time, understood the depth and reach of the great faithfulness of God through it all.
You've learned a few things over the past few years. Specifically, you've learned some things about God and who He is. For the record, these are the lessons that matter. The lessons you are about to learn in the coming months and years are going to transform you. I am writing you the way I am today because we are not the same person anymore. As you wrote the last blog entry and envisioned the road ahead, I can still remember what you had in mind. Many of the things you prayed for, God will be gracious to give you. Many of those things you prayed for, God in His mercy will spare you from getting. Trust me, it's absolutely mercy. You were right, God was in control.
You are going to learn again, and again, you cannot for one minute trust yourself (Prov. 3:5-6). I shouldn't have to remind you of this, but even 2015 Tracy knows the issue we have. Still, you should know there is going to be many times that you will completely forget this and walk as a total pagan. I replay the situations in my head and can track the results every time. You're not as smart as you think you are. Say it with me: You don't know what you are doing. God has given you His Spirit and promises you wisdom from Himself - the God of all wisdom. This promise is at your disposal, yet time and time again you will dip into the well of your stagnant, flesh-stained wisdom for answers. Spoiler-alert: It never goes well. You are about to face some things, and you need help from God to know how to face them. There will be a time when you turn to Him and He is going to answer and show you what you need to do, I just wish you would do it sooner. Why spend a single moment running off of your ignorance when He holds all wisdom in Himself for you?
You are going to learn that it's not just rhetoric when we say "God doesn't waste suffering" (James 1:2-4). You already know this but I want to remind you of it. No matter what may come, you are blessed, and whatever you get is much better than you deserve. With that being said, there is some stuff coming your way. It's not disease, famine, or sword, but just as it is with all of those, it will not be sufficient to separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Nor will it be wasted in your life. It will come out of nowhere and it will have an impact on you in a ways that you could never imagine. Everything in your life will shift as a result and there will be times that you wonder if things will ever be the same. The answer to that question is, No. They will be better. Not better because the reality is better, but better because God is better than the suffering we face. He will use the events and circumstances you are going to face to produce a fruit that will draw you closer to Him, and do a work in you that will bring a greater glory to His name. Isn't that point? While the landscape of your life will be totally different in the next few years, I can assure you that you will understand His sovereign work in the confusion and pain as precious and glorious.
You are going to learn, better than you ever have, God is relentlessly faithful and good (Psalm 89:8). It wouldn't be very nice for someone else to say this, but I can because, well...I'm you. You can, at times, speak about things you know very little about. You know how you can go on and on about European Sports Cars because you watch Top Gear UK, but in reality, you couldn't add windshield washer fluid to one of those cars. Well, the subject of God's faithfulness and goodness is not a subject foreign to you by any means, but you will soon discover a depth of His nature you've never known. In the coming days you will find yourself coming to many crossroads in your faith and in your life. There will be days and weeks of waiting, prayer, more waiting, more praying, and just listening for God to guide. Slowly, steps of obedience will be taken into the unknown. You will walk, knowing that you are walking in His will, but unsure what lies ahead. Day by day, you will learn to lean into Him and do your best to trust. You won't always do it well, and at times, you won’t do it at all. But trust me, you will follow. As you do, there will be a lot of fear. The fear will be answered by the promises of God from His word. There will be needs. Every single one of them will be met in ways that you wouldn't believe if I told you. Miraculous ways. There will be moments when you just need answers, and they will come so clearly that even {you} couldn't miss them. Every step, God will confirm and reconfirm what He is doing. He will provide for you, and prove Himself time and time again.
You are about to be tested in ways you've never been tested before. I'm sure it will happen again, but when it does, you will have a new point of reference. You will know afresh, the almighty God of Heaven, who is sovereign in all things, working in all things for His good pleasure and glory, will finish the work He started for the good of them that love Him and are the called according to those very purposes. He is faithful, Tracy. He is good. I know that you already know these things, but I can assure you they will be so much more precious and real to you later. You are going to grow up a lot in the next few years. You still have a long way to go, and He is not finished yet. The truth is, He has only just begun to set some things in motion in the last few years. We are learning of Him daily, and it's all of grace.
I have to go, it's time for school. Oh, by the way - you went back to Seminary! Congratulations! May Christ be glorified in us, and may the Gospel go forth always. Let's try and do this again, real soon.
Because of Christ,
You know..
P.S. Stay away from Lisa's Kitchen in Gardendale, Alabama....trust me.
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